Anything

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" At 23 years old I still get asked that question. It is usually rephrased a little, "what are you doing with your life?" Until recently I couldn't answer that question. I wouldn't admit to not being able to answer it. I made up a lot of things, and there were really some things that I did want to do but no for myself. I wanted to do them because I had great asperations for advancing the kingdom of God. Don't get me wrong I am and will continue to advance the kingdom, but those plans were not for me. I wanted to be a nurse so I could go and help people in other countries. While nursing is great for some I do not do well with needles or blood and wouldn't make the best nurse. 

In the last few years I realized what I have really wanted to so since I was a child. Open a coffee shop. Well when I was a child it is more or less a shop of any kind I sold anything and everything as a child. I just couldn't accept if as my calling because I wanted to be on the front lines advancing the kingdom. Now looking back I feel foolish, of course I can do both. If I am honoring God with my skill set and desires of course he is going to use me to advance his kingdom. No I won't be in another country preaching to an unreached people group. That doesn't mean that I can't use my profit to help support them. I also have a great opportunity to help support and grow domestic ministries.

By finally accepting where God wants me and my skill set means I am exactly where God wants me even if it isn't in the 5 fold ministry.  I am not saying that there aren't people who aren't called to be pastors and missionaries. I just am not one of them. I think a lot of us who go to Bible school in one form or another fall into the trap of thinking that if we aren't going into the 5 fold ministry we aren't doing what God wants us to do. I personally think that in our current age we can reach a lot more people by working along side them in whatever area of work you feel called to, rather than knocking on doors and inviting strangers to church events. People are so much more likely to accept Christ if they see him in your life not just see him in a packet you drop off at their door. 

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 ESV)

Dear Little Girl; Be Restored

Dear Little Girl with dirt on your faces and bruises on your arms

You are strong.

Don't let them tell you otherwise.

Don't let them steal your life

I know sometimes it's hard

Life is hard

This world is cruel

The nights grow longer

The dark gets colder

You're wondering if this will ever end

Hands grab you

Feet kick you

Words are hurled 

You're used

Broken

Abused

Worthless

Dirty

Incomplete

Disgusting

These things are flung in your face

They stick to you like glue

Identifying you

Labeling you

You start to wonder

Do they speak the truth?

Someone once told you they loved you

You don't remember who

Or when

What does love even feel like?

Does it really exist?

Love is just a term used to get ahead

To manipulate emotions

To bend people to your will

Love is a lie

Dear little girl  

I am here to speak truth

Won't you let me in?

Little girl put down your fists and look at me

Listen to me

I'm not here to hurt you

Love is not a lie

It does exist

I am sorry it's been so long since you've felt it

Sorry that I didn't come sooner to show it

I couldn't protect you

Couldn't shield you

Didn't even warn you

But, I'm here now

That has to count for something

You are bright

Beautiful

Valuable

Full of life

Radiant

Hands that hurt you

Abuse you

Used you

Don't let them define you

Wash off the mud

Wash off the grime

The words that were stuck to you, no longer define

They are not who you are

Nor who you will become

They were merely weapons

Meant to break

A pretty little girl that shines

You are stronger than that

Taller than that

Better than that

Smarter than that

I know it hurts

I know it's hard

It's time to walk away from the past

Follow a new path

Forgive and forget

Start again

New life

They only told you lies

They only hurt you

But I am here to help you heal

Speak truth

Bring you life

You are brave and Beautiful

My dear little one you are fierce

You have much to offer

An amazing story to share

A tale of recovery and redemption

Of hope renewed

Refreshed

You will change the world

Impact

Make a difference

Save a life

Arise from dust and ashes

Walk anew in wondrous life

You are loved 

Precious one

You my dear are light

So sing your song

Dance you dance

Say what you have to say

You are healed, restored, given strength for each new day

Change the world with your story, my love

Dear little girl, be brave

~Carrots

Here's The Goodbye Letter I Wrote To My Supporters (By The Way I Graduated The Internship, Yay Me!)

Dear Friends and Family,

  This is my last update letter for my time at Honor Academy of The Ozarks. I decided to take advantage of the free use of the printer as an intern one last time and mail out these letters. As of August 10, 2014 I will not longer be an intern. I will have completed two years at HAO, and I am not staying a 3rd. It has been a crazy and amazing journey these past couple of years. I have done things I didn’t think I would ever do like climb a mountain, fast for 3 days, and finished CA Roads (I don’t really have the room in this to explain that, but it’s super intense and crazy and I learned more from this singular event than I did the other LTE’s. If you want to know more you can e-mail me and ask questions.) I have gained an amazing family here at the internship and Living Word Church and I have learned and grown so much. 

      My first year I learned and grew a lot and developed myself in Christ. As a second year I became the girl’s Core Advisor, the mentor/accountability/direct leadership for the undergrad girls. As most of you know leadership is very challenging. However, I loved it and I love my core. I am blessed to have a good relationship with Jesse, she is seriously like my little sister. Anyway, so the big things I learned my second year were how to be a leader. I learned what it takes to be a leader, how to properly lead someone, and how even when I feel like my whole world is falling apart I have to set that all aside and help them with whatever they’re going through and that requires a ton of leaning on and trusting in God. I also learned how to really love with the unconditional love of Christ for the first time. I mean yes I have my little sister and my parents but I can honestly say that outside of them I have never loved someone unconditionally (now maybe no one has ever reached the end of my conditions, but still) until I  became CA.  However, this year I learned what it means to lay my life down for someone else and to love them with the love of Christ no matter what’s going on in my own life or even what they may be doing to me or to others. I learned how to really be there for someone when they need me. I also discovered that a lot of the time real leadership is sitting on someone’s bedroom floor at 2 am instead of sleeping, or washing someone else’s dishes even when you haven’t actually cooked a meal in days. Leadership is in the little things and I have been honored and blessed to become a leader this year. It has been incredible.

I have learned and experienced so much more than this but, I don’t have enough room or time to type it all out. I just want to say that I have grown and learned so much in my two years here. I have amazing mentors and friends. Last year I was an intern with Chelsea, Breana, Grace, Kate (woo-hoo best friend gained!), Blanca (my CA), and David. This year I have been an intern with Jesse, Eric, Anthony, and David (we’re both suckers and stayed two years, ha-ha). I can honestly say that these people, especially this year’s interns, have become my family and some of my closest friends. I have found friendships that I didn’t know I would find, especially in Kate, Jesse, Eric, and Anthony, and I am so grateful for that. I wanted to say thank you to all of you as well. You prayed for me, encouraged me, and even supported me financially. I literally would not have been able to come here or stay here at it not been for you. As of now I only have $727.15 left to pay on my internship (so I mean hey if you want to help by all means…) but in reality compared to where I was when I started this is nothing to pay…and it’s because of you guys. All of you have been an amazing encouragement and support system as I have participated in this program. I have gained direction, spiritual maturity, and vision during my time spent here and you played a part in that, so thank you all!

  I also want you to know what I’ll be doing now that I have graduated from the internship. First of all I will be staying in the Branson area. I will be moving into an apartment in Reeds Spring with one of my best friends, Brooke (I provided a lovely picture of the two of us just for you!) I have been offered, and I have accepted, a non-paid staff position (fancy way of saying volunteer) as the academic supervisor for Honor Academy of The Ozarks. I’ll be keeping track on intern classes and homework, grading papers, meeting one on one with interns about said papers, as well as tutoring interns. I will also continue to mentor Jesse and I will be given the opportunity to speak various intern events as well as teach a few classes. I will continue working my part time job as an administrative assistant at Christian Associates, hopefully that’ll become full time…who knows. On the weekends I have started working with Nightlight and I will be able to become much more involved with that organization. Nightlight is an anti-human trafficking group based in Branson/Springfield. They do strip club outreach, street ministry, as well as help with aftercare. Finally I will be working in the youth group at Living Word Church on a regular basis assisting Joe, HAO alumni/youth pastor/current male CA. I am excited and scared for the next step in life. I know that God is calling me to great things and I am ready for them. Once again thank you all for everything you’ve done for me the past two years! 

Kaitlin Hicks