Psalm 37:3-7 (AMP)
"Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass. And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday. Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass."
That my friends is an incredible verse and so I've done my best to read and meditate on this verse and apply it to my life. I started applying for tons of jobs and I had a couple interviews and none of them seemed right and I knew I should say no to them and I did and I was confused because very soon, I'll be jobless. Then out of nowhere I got a call and was offered my dream job and I jumped I said yes and I was beyond happy to say yes. I was blessed and it all started to make sense. I was given this opportunity for experience and learning and it was okay that school hadn't worked out, I could go later. Experience is often a better teacher than text books and I would be getting to do what I love and get paid to do it. It was a dream come true. That was yesterday...this morning I was listening to worship music as I made breakfast and went about my day and I started singing the lyrics, "If I let these dreams die will I find you brought me back to life. So empty my hands fill up my heart capture my mind with you." These lyrics came to be God was obviously speaking to me about school. I mean I let one dream die and God had replaced it with another. Not so, friends, not so. After I got to work today I learned that because of the situation with my vehicle and the fact that this offered position could possibly require me to have to travel at a moments notice and at inconvenient hours I was no longer eligible for the position. To say I was crushed is an understatement. I had literally called everyone I knew and told them about this job, and I was excited. I could stop the job search, I had security and would literally go zero time without a job. Now, I'm back in limbo and my last day where I currently am is in two days. I haven't cried yet but as soon as I'm alone I surely will. I'm scared, and devastated, and yes I'm sitting here in this office kind of confused by and upset with God. He's my father he's supposed to help me and nothing seems to be working out the way it should. Although, even as I sit here fighting tears and very fed up with life God has given me scriptures and songs and is speaking to me about how he's my stability. The song he gave me this morning during worship wasn't about what had happened, it was about what was going to and now is happening. He brought this scripture back to my mind and now it's time to trust and pray and seek and believe. This blog really is just me saying hey....does life honestly kind of suck? Yes, and I get it but I promise you that God is still here with us. Am I happy with the circumstances? No. Am I scared? Yes. Am I honestly frustrated even with God? Yes. BUT, I have faith that he will provide because he loves me and he will always provide for my needs. Life doesn't always make sense but God always stands firm and that's all that I need. It's when I lose sight of God that the circumstances begin to overwhelm me and I will not let that happen. Because, Jesus Christ is bigger than my storm.
This video isn't the one that contains the lyrics I posted, but it is the one that describes how I feel. Not only that but it also says that while I feel this way, I know that God is still in control and still on my side.
~ Carrots
