Ron Weasley Is My Security Blanket

            I hate breaks (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.) for two reasons…or rather I hate two things about breaks. I hate leaving for break and I hate coming back break. I hate leaving for break because I hate saying goodbye. I don’t like leaving people behind…I spend every single day with these people. They are a part of my life. We work, eat, play, and grow together. Sometimes, I think I’m too attached to people because I barely know how to function without them. So, I hate leaving for break because I don’t like leaving people…I cried at the airport dropping people off. I cried hugging people goodbye at church. Heck, I even cried when I didn’t get to tell someone I don’t even like goodbye. Even if I don’t like you I’ll miss you because I don’t remember how to do life without you. Then inevitably I spend the first 2-3 days of break lamenting my loneliness and feeling empty and alone.

            Then I start loving being on break. Having no responsibilities, not having to worry about other people’s problems, not being in charge of anything; just being at home with the people I love the most and enjoying spending time with them. I’m very close to my family and I love doing things like daddy-daughter dates to Quick Trip, having tea parties with my sister, and helping my mom with unruly school kids. I enjoy family dinners, playing with my animals, reading books, and watching movies. I enjoy being part of a family again. I miss it. I miss being with my parents and sister, I miss them so much it hurts sometimes. I miss being a big sister. Sometimes distance and responsibilities at HAO make me feel like I’m not being the best big sister ever. I miss my little sis. Yet during break I was able to give her my complete undivided attention and attend the first Orchestra concert of hers that I’ve been to in almost 3 years! She is fabulous. I just loved being home. It was great and I suddenly didn’t want to go back. I wanted to stay home with my family and friends. I wanted to be normal and just got to school or whatever. I even asked my best friend from back in Missouri if she would pack up my room for me…she told me no. I told her I didn’t want to come back because I was scared and nervous. I was homesick and all kinds of things. Then I told her that I would come back unless she got me Ron Weasley because if I had Ron everything would be okay and I could handle all of the stress.

            Needless to say I went back. It was what I was supposed to do, but that didn’t make it easy. I missed my parents and sister. I missed home…plus this time saying goodbye to Kansas was real. This time I knew I would never be coming back for more than occasional visits and that’s a tough place to be in. I got back to my house and loaded everything in. Mumbled hello to my housemates that had returned before and went to my room. I turned on my light and found that my room was completely covered in pictures of Ron Weasley. COVERED! I counted around over 20 (so obviously not all of them are shown here). I just started laughing and suddenly I was okay with being back. The fact that I have friends that love and care about enough to spend time cutting out and taping up pictures of Ron all over my room/bathroom just to make feel better made me realize how lucky I am. So what if it’s difficult, stressful, or away from my family. It’s where I’m supposed to be. It’s where I want to be. Ron Weasley is my security blanket because it took me a bunch of tiny Rons all over my room to make feel like I was home. Where I belong. As to what it means about my feelings toward Ron Weasley…maybe just a bit obsessed but who cares. I have the best friends in the world and thanks to them I have the best room too.

~ Carrots