The Day I Joined A Corrupt Government and Persecuted Christians

     Now I know what you're thinking...actually okay I don't. I can guess that it's somewhere along the lines of, "What the heck is she talking about? What kind of psycho is writing this blog?" Just do me a favor and hear me out...listen to what I have to say. Don't stop reading and walk away or you'll have a very misconstrued view of who I am and what I stand for. Also, please don't report me to anybody and get me arrested, it wasn't real. I didn't actually for real persecute Christians. It was a simulated role playing event. Please, just give me a chance. Have you every done role playing? Cosplay? Hey, there Whovians...I know you have. So, it was kind of like that but we were pretending to be real people in real situations. So, while it wasn't "real" for us, it's real for several people out there in the world.
     Last year I participated in World Awareness as part of the persecuted church an it was intense. I went to "prison" and the "refugee camp" and whatnot. We had breaks during the days where we would watch movies such as Defiance and A War To End All Wars and listen to speakers from various organizations such as Voice of The Martyrs. I learned so much last year participating. I learned about sacrifice and taking a stand for what I believe. God used that year to speak to me about how he calls us to handle persecution, I learned a lot. But this post isn't about last year. It's about this year.
     This year I was part of the corrupt government. Our story is that we were a new government that believed in equality for all religions and that there wasn't only one way to Heaven. So, if you were part of a radical religion that taught your way was the only true way (Christianity, Islam, etc.) then we were there to help you and reeducate you. Very passive aggressive. We also had back stories that we were given so when we were around undergrad interns (aka the persecuted church) we would have a character to speak with them to and a story to tell them. My back story was that I had two older brother, Mark and Bentley (yep, they got names!). My older brother Bentley joined the army and went over seas to fight for the "Peace and Safety" (our "government" motto) of our Country. While he was over seas he was killed and when they sent my brother's body back home to have his funeral "Christians" came and told me that my brother had deserved to die, that God wanted my brother dead, that God was happy that my brother had been killed. As a result of this protesting and hatred towards my family my other older brother, Mark, killed himself. As a result of this I blamed Christians for his death. (Let me take a break and a moment to clarify that this was my roleplaying persona and I am a Christian and I firmly believe that the people that do these things *coughwestborosough* are not an actual representation of Christ and his love nor of the rest of Christianity...and I have no brothers that were killed. Although I did pull from real life experiences I've had with Westboro due to living in Kansas and the death of someone I went to High School with. ) So, that was my back story and my "character" was bitter.
     The purpose of this LTE (Life Transforming Event) is to make interns more aware of the persecuted church and to get them to really think about their faith and how they would handle persecution. So, as part of the government is to make the experience real. We chase after the refugee camp and we arrest people and take them to the "reeducation" facility. There we just challenge them and ask them questions about their faith. Here interns have a chance to show us the love of Christ or rebel. It's interesting...a lot of things happened that weekend and I did a lot of things but I really just want to talk about one of those things.
     On the last night we had some refugees do a raid in an attempt to rescue prisoners. They came in with air soft guns and started shooting agents and yelling at people to go. The kid leading the raid just went crazy. At the time of the raid I was on the guys side of the "prison" (AKA shower house) and I was talking to one of the guys about his faith and this kid was nailing it. I was contemplating either letting this kid go or converting. He was amazing in showing me the love of Christ and standing firm in his faith. I told this kid my back story and he apologized and told me about his faith and how Jesus really wants him to act, etc. Then one of his buddies comes in and starts shooting people so in my roleplaying mind everything he has said as just become void because his Christian buddies are not living up to what he's been claiming. Then one guy puts a gun to one of my guys' chest. I remember the "agent" looking at him and saying, "according to your belief system if you shoot me I go to Hell. Are you willing to send me to Hell?" The kid shoots him point blank. (air soft gun reminder!) and so my buddy "died". Then this kid comes over and twists my wrist until I drop my gun. He then tries to hand the gun to the guy that I had been talking to. This was the test. To my amazement the kid in the cell refused to take the gun and told him not to touch me anymore. Then he came out of his cell to protect me from all of the other raiders. He never took a gun and he never tried to run. He amazed me. Later I asked him why if they believe in this loving God why they would come in here and send to of my friends to Hell. His answer, "I don't know and I'm sorry. What they did was wrong. I don't agree with them and I wish I could have stopped them. Just know that, that wasn't God's will. God loves you...please don't hold this against God and the rest of us."
     This year I learned that people are right and wrong. But one kid in a cell humbled me and showed me the greatest act of role playing human kindness I've ever seen. But, he was sincere and I believe that had the guns been real and I been truly against him he would have acted the exact same. That kid challenged me to love everyone I come in contact with, even my enemies. That kid called me to a higher level of love.

Texas and Idealism

     I love Texas, or rather the idea of Texas. I am very idealistic, in theory. My thought life, or rather daydreams, seem to reflect the ideal life. Where everyone is just, things are always fair, the good guy always wins, and everything ends in a happily ever after kiss. I often feel that my daydreams are the epitome of Jimmy Stewart's character, Jefferson Smith, in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. I believe and hope for the best. Yet, often times I feel like the words that come out of my mouth may not reflect the purest, untainted version of any original thought I may have had. Somehow between my brain and my mouth life, age, cynicism, and the world seem to stain my words. I'm one of those people. You know what I'm talking about. One of those people that doesn't associate with any political party because I don't like any of them. One of those people that is convinced that every man I pass on the street is a rapist (then again that could be a girl thing). One of those people that think society's morals and ethics are being sucked into a black hole never to be seen again. One of those people that as much as I talk, I am completely and utterly terrified that good will never truly win in the world and evil will triumph and I'm going to be tortured to death for my beliefs. Yep...one of those people. Yet, when I visit Texas I suddenly feel peace. In my mind Texas is the one place where there is justice and right and truth prevail. I know, I know....I've lost you know. Let me explain.
     In my mind Texas is the place where Justice prevails every time, people work hard for what they have, everyone's honest, and the good guy still rides in a saves the day. Texas is still old fashioned in my mind. Full of farmers, cowboys, and Chuck Norris. If you hurt a kid or kill someone there is no insanity pleads or allowances. You kill someone and you're killed...never to kill again. If you want something you work for it and if you have something it's because you worked for it. Everyone has a fair chance it's just up to you to take it. Plus, Chuck Norris. I mean seriously if Chuck Norris is in a place it's a safe place. In my mind Texas is full of God fearing people and morals and ethics aren't corrupt. Biblical standards are upheld and life is good and sweet. Now, I only visit Texas a couple of times a year and I always go to the Honor Academy campus. So, I don't see a whole lot of Texas and I don't know very many people that are Texas born and breed. For all I know the rest of Texas could be horrible.
     The reason I share this is because I recently went to Texas and and going back in a couple weeks and the as soon as I crossed the state line I felt peace and nostalgia for something I have never known. A perfect world. Whether it be Texas or not I think everyone has a place that for them represents idealism and a hypothetically perfect world. That is perfectly okay. If it can take the edge off of daily cynicism to pretend that there's a place within reach that is ideal then go for it. Just remember the earth is temporary and there will never be perfection until we reach Heaven. But, while I'm here I'll keep dreaming to Texas.

~ Carrots