Dear Little Girl; Be Restored

Dear Little Girl with dirt on your faces and bruises on your arms

You are strong.

Don't let them tell you otherwise.

Don't let them steal your life

I know sometimes it's hard

Life is hard

This world is cruel

The nights grow longer

The dark gets colder

You're wondering if this will ever end

Hands grab you

Feet kick you

Words are hurled 

You're used

Broken

Abused

Worthless

Dirty

Incomplete

Disgusting

These things are flung in your face

They stick to you like glue

Identifying you

Labeling you

You start to wonder

Do they speak the truth?

Someone once told you they loved you

You don't remember who

Or when

What does love even feel like?

Does it really exist?

Love is just a term used to get ahead

To manipulate emotions

To bend people to your will

Love is a lie

Dear little girl  

I am here to speak truth

Won't you let me in?

Little girl put down your fists and look at me

Listen to me

I'm not here to hurt you

Love is not a lie

It does exist

I am sorry it's been so long since you've felt it

Sorry that I didn't come sooner to show it

I couldn't protect you

Couldn't shield you

Didn't even warn you

But, I'm here now

That has to count for something

You are bright

Beautiful

Valuable

Full of life

Radiant

Hands that hurt you

Abuse you

Used you

Don't let them define you

Wash off the mud

Wash off the grime

The words that were stuck to you, no longer define

They are not who you are

Nor who you will become

They were merely weapons

Meant to break

A pretty little girl that shines

You are stronger than that

Taller than that

Better than that

Smarter than that

I know it hurts

I know it's hard

It's time to walk away from the past

Follow a new path

Forgive and forget

Start again

New life

They only told you lies

They only hurt you

But I am here to help you heal

Speak truth

Bring you life

You are brave and Beautiful

My dear little one you are fierce

You have much to offer

An amazing story to share

A tale of recovery and redemption

Of hope renewed

Refreshed

You will change the world

Impact

Make a difference

Save a life

Arise from dust and ashes

Walk anew in wondrous life

You are loved 

Precious one

You my dear are light

So sing your song

Dance you dance

Say what you have to say

You are healed, restored, given strength for each new day

Change the world with your story, my love

Dear little girl, be brave

~Carrots

The Day I Joined A Corrupt Government and Persecuted Christians

     Now I know what you're thinking...actually okay I don't. I can guess that it's somewhere along the lines of, "What the heck is she talking about? What kind of psycho is writing this blog?" Just do me a favor and hear me out...listen to what I have to say. Don't stop reading and walk away or you'll have a very misconstrued view of who I am and what I stand for. Also, please don't report me to anybody and get me arrested, it wasn't real. I didn't actually for real persecute Christians. It was a simulated role playing event. Please, just give me a chance. Have you every done role playing? Cosplay? Hey, there Whovians...I know you have. So, it was kind of like that but we were pretending to be real people in real situations. So, while it wasn't "real" for us, it's real for several people out there in the world.
     Last year I participated in World Awareness as part of the persecuted church an it was intense. I went to "prison" and the "refugee camp" and whatnot. We had breaks during the days where we would watch movies such as Defiance and A War To End All Wars and listen to speakers from various organizations such as Voice of The Martyrs. I learned so much last year participating. I learned about sacrifice and taking a stand for what I believe. God used that year to speak to me about how he calls us to handle persecution, I learned a lot. But this post isn't about last year. It's about this year.
     This year I was part of the corrupt government. Our story is that we were a new government that believed in equality for all religions and that there wasn't only one way to Heaven. So, if you were part of a radical religion that taught your way was the only true way (Christianity, Islam, etc.) then we were there to help you and reeducate you. Very passive aggressive. We also had back stories that we were given so when we were around undergrad interns (aka the persecuted church) we would have a character to speak with them to and a story to tell them. My back story was that I had two older brother, Mark and Bentley (yep, they got names!). My older brother Bentley joined the army and went over seas to fight for the "Peace and Safety" (our "government" motto) of our Country. While he was over seas he was killed and when they sent my brother's body back home to have his funeral "Christians" came and told me that my brother had deserved to die, that God wanted my brother dead, that God was happy that my brother had been killed. As a result of this protesting and hatred towards my family my other older brother, Mark, killed himself. As a result of this I blamed Christians for his death. (Let me take a break and a moment to clarify that this was my roleplaying persona and I am a Christian and I firmly believe that the people that do these things *coughwestborosough* are not an actual representation of Christ and his love nor of the rest of Christianity...and I have no brothers that were killed. Although I did pull from real life experiences I've had with Westboro due to living in Kansas and the death of someone I went to High School with. ) So, that was my back story and my "character" was bitter.
     The purpose of this LTE (Life Transforming Event) is to make interns more aware of the persecuted church and to get them to really think about their faith and how they would handle persecution. So, as part of the government is to make the experience real. We chase after the refugee camp and we arrest people and take them to the "reeducation" facility. There we just challenge them and ask them questions about their faith. Here interns have a chance to show us the love of Christ or rebel. It's interesting...a lot of things happened that weekend and I did a lot of things but I really just want to talk about one of those things.
     On the last night we had some refugees do a raid in an attempt to rescue prisoners. They came in with air soft guns and started shooting agents and yelling at people to go. The kid leading the raid just went crazy. At the time of the raid I was on the guys side of the "prison" (AKA shower house) and I was talking to one of the guys about his faith and this kid was nailing it. I was contemplating either letting this kid go or converting. He was amazing in showing me the love of Christ and standing firm in his faith. I told this kid my back story and he apologized and told me about his faith and how Jesus really wants him to act, etc. Then one of his buddies comes in and starts shooting people so in my roleplaying mind everything he has said as just become void because his Christian buddies are not living up to what he's been claiming. Then one guy puts a gun to one of my guys' chest. I remember the "agent" looking at him and saying, "according to your belief system if you shoot me I go to Hell. Are you willing to send me to Hell?" The kid shoots him point blank. (air soft gun reminder!) and so my buddy "died". Then this kid comes over and twists my wrist until I drop my gun. He then tries to hand the gun to the guy that I had been talking to. This was the test. To my amazement the kid in the cell refused to take the gun and told him not to touch me anymore. Then he came out of his cell to protect me from all of the other raiders. He never took a gun and he never tried to run. He amazed me. Later I asked him why if they believe in this loving God why they would come in here and send to of my friends to Hell. His answer, "I don't know and I'm sorry. What they did was wrong. I don't agree with them and I wish I could have stopped them. Just know that, that wasn't God's will. God loves you...please don't hold this against God and the rest of us."
     This year I learned that people are right and wrong. But one kid in a cell humbled me and showed me the greatest act of role playing human kindness I've ever seen. But, he was sincere and I believe that had the guns been real and I been truly against him he would have acted the exact same. That kid challenged me to love everyone I come in contact with, even my enemies. That kid called me to a higher level of love.

Same same but different

Three weeks ago I went to get my belly button pierced. The place was very nice and with the coupon I had it was very reasonably priced. I went laid down on the bed she put a clamp on my belly. After a few moments she shoved a hollow needle through it and eventually changed the needle out for a ring. It didn't phase me at all. I had some problems later but that is a story for a different day. 

The next week I went to get some blood tests (not bad just routine for a new doctor). It was a nice place but very hospitally (again very normal for a hospital). The girls were nice. I waited my turn and sat down in the chair where they  were going to take the blood. I sat down and watched the girl across from me get like six tubes of blood taken. Thinking since it didn't phase her I should be fine. Man was I wrong. I held still and waited for her to put my needle in my arm. She found the vein with one stab (which is kid of miraculous in itself). She took two tubes of blood and was done. She started taking the needle out when it happened. The world started to go black and then I passed out. Not just out but like out for a full minute, waking up not knowing where I was or what was going on. Waking up I tried to play it cool and make a stupid comment about passing out. Then I promptly passed out again just as long as the time before. They then made me sit for quite a while and drink a sickly amount of orange juice. 

The point of telling the two stories is this. Sometimes two things that can seem so similar. A bigger needle shoved all the way through the skin and something put in and left in no big deal while a smaller needle joked just into the side of my arm causes complete shut down of whole body. 

Things in theory that are very similar but in reality very different. Same as the concept of underwear and swim suits. I find our culture and Christianity's view of love very much the same way. On the outside it looks very much the same but deep down our reaction to both are very different. 

Our culture tells us that love is fulfilling ourselves through the use of other people and when we are done we can throw them away. It is based on your feelings and emotions while those of the other person are not considered. We see it all the time broken marriages and relationships because one or the other doesn't feel it anymore. 

Christianity tells us love is fulfilling the other through our actions. Building them up. Doing this does not only build the other up it builds you together as a couple. 

What our culture says is love is really lust. Living off their emotions and pleasure. How often does our world say "if it's love you'll have sex" or "you will let the other degrade your core values". How can that be healthy and currently because of this mindset we have younger and younger people getting pregnant and doing things they are not ready for because they feel alone and they think that relationship will fill that void. Not from personal experience but based on the experiences of my friends and peers I can say a majority of the time it may fill that void for a short period of time but as soon as that relationship is over it leaves an emptiness even larger than the one they started with.

Again a Christian relationship that is being pursued for the right reasons is the opposite. Christianity tells us "what can I do to build this person up" or "how can we better peruse Christ through this relationship?" Growing together in The Lord not just as a couple. It is never just the two of you God is always there in the midst of your relationship. 

So all in all be warned about love. When talking to someone you may think something while they mean something completely different. 

1 Peter 4:8 
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (NIV)