20 Minutes With Thurman

    A couple weeks ago I had the honor of meeting a man named Thurman, he and his wife came into the store where I work and while his wife shopped Thurman sat on a bench in an entry way. They walked in and his wife asked if there was a place that he could sit and then she went on to explain that he has alzheimers and he wouldn't be able to go up and down the stairs, and that it would be easier on him if he could sit somewhere and wait. We agreed and before she went downstairs she told us her name and his and to come get her if he got too anxious.
     He was fine for a while and then he started getting anxious and got up and went to look for his wife and my co-worker talked to him and got him to calm down and sit and he was fine. A few minutes same thing. After the third time he was getting very anxious so my co-worker went to tell his wife and I just decided to go sit with him. I've never been around someone going through that so I honestly didn't know if my presence would help or if it would make him more nervous. I grabbed a couple Missouri Conservationist off of our magazine rack and sat down next to him. He was really excited that I knew his name, and he introduced himself to me and I to him and then we looked through one of the magazines together. He told me about how much he loves fishing and how he's always wanted to go quail hunting.
     A few minutes into our conversation he literally blinked once, looked at me and went, "Hi, I'm Thurman...do I know you? Have we met?" I told him we had just met and we were new friends and told him my name, he relaxed and started looking at the magazine and he told me the same stories. This time he told me he was born in 1925, and he wasn't sure how old that made him but he was pretty sure he was 35. A few minutes went passed and soon we had to do introductions again. At this point I started to tear up because I couldn't even begin to imagine what this was like for him or his family. How awful this must be for everyone who loved him. It broke my heart to have to imagine having to go through this. Gently, Thurman reached over and took my hand.
      "Don't cry, I don't like seeing people cry, there's no sense in it. There's so much badness in the world but you can't let it steal your joy. I would never do anything to make anyone feel bad. I believe in working hard, believing in each other, love, and kindness. We must always be kind to those around us, always care for everyone. We can't hurt each other, we need each other too much."
      About that moment his wife walked by and waved at us on her way to the register. Thurman lit up, "Do you see her? She's mine...isn't she beautiful?" I nodded and told her of course she is. His eyes softened and he held my hand tighter, "she's the kindest woman I've ever known. I just couldn't stand being with a woman who was unkind or cantankerous, nope couldn't handle that. But her, she's so kind and gentle. She'd do anything for anybody, give you the clothes off her back, she's just like that. She's an incredible woman that one is."
     After that we just sat silent, hand in hand, waiting for his wife to come through the check out. She did and when she came out she thanked me for sitting with her husband, but really I was the one who should have been thanking her. As he got up to go he turned around to shake my hand, "It was nice meeting you young lady, maybe I'll see you again real soon." If I ever do see Thurman again he won't remember me, he won't know he ever sat with me on a bench inside of a store. I however, will never forget Thurman. Even in the midst of all he was going through he didn't forget the important things. He didn't forget who he was, and he didn't forget to pass on his wisdom. Thurman is right we have to believe in hard work, each other, love, and kindness because there is so much darkness in the world. We have to remember that we need each other and not to let the world steal our joy.

~ Carrots 

The Grocery Store

     There are moments in life that stick with you, that make an impression, moments that come back to your mind years later with a strong sense of emotion and nostalgia. Moments that come back and say hey this is important. Sometimes they feel like happened yesterday and the memory is real. Sometimes they're reminders of where we were and where we plan on never going again. And, sometimes, as in this case, they're something that someone had once said to you that you had completely forgotten about. Only to remember over a year later and realize how important those words were to you.
     I worked a grocery store for 8 months before I started my undergrad year (I'm a second year now) at Honor Academy of The Ozarks. I worked to save up money for HAO (because we can't have jobs during our first year, as second years we can have jobs if we could find anyone that would hire us) and we have to pay tuition and buy our own food. So, I was being smart and saving up. Good job Kaitlin! Anyway, so I got this job at the store as a cashier. For the most part I liked it. I got along with the people I worked with, it was pretty easy, but I mean I was a cashier so it's not like I was super in love with it. It was a great first job to have. Plus, I had to work with the general public. For the most part I liked it. You have your super happy people, the polite people, the people that just want to get through the line, people that don't speak English, people with WIC checks that pretend like they don't speak English, stoners, guys that hit on you, complete jerks, and then the regulars. Let me tell you, employees love the regulars. There are people that come to the store a lot and then there are the regulars. The regulars are people that know your name and you know theirs, they come to the store everyday sometimes a few times a day, you know what they're buying before they even get through the doors. They aren't always nice, we had one regular that as soon as he walked in it was almost a race to see who could get to a bathroom break first. Yet, at the same time it was nice to see him come in because despite whatever it was he belonged there as much as we did. They all did.
     We had one guy, a regular, and he always came in looking upset. He never smiled, never said hi, nothing. Occasionally he would talk to one of the floor managers and that was it. For whatever reason I decided that I was going to make him smile and say hi to me. I was going to make this man be happy. So, every time he would come into the store I would wave and shout, no matter who was in my line, hey there favorite customer it's great to see you! For the first little while he always looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't stop doing it. Then one day he came through my line. Didn't smile, didn't say anything, he just came through my line. After that he came through my line every single time he came to the store and I was working. Well I chatted him up every time. Always called him my favorite customer, asked him about his day, told him that I was having a great day, and always ended by telling him that seeing him is what made my day. One day it was like a flip switched. He came through my line smiling and he talked to me a little bit. I was so happy, then as he was walking off he turned around came back to my register and said, "Thank you." That was it. Just thank you.
     After that things changed. He would come through my line laughing and talking, we would joke around. One time I had a ridiculously long line and he went to stand at a different register and I remember jokingly calling, "Where do you think you are going? Get over here and stand in my line. He did, he stood in my line for twenty minutes. I was amazed at the change I had seen in one customer just because I decided I was going to make him smile. It was incredible. I was so humbled at the fact that God allowed me to be used to reach this man in even the tiniest way. Then to humble me even more God used this man to speak to me.
     About three weeks before I was supposed to move out and start HAO I become utterly terrified and decided I wasn't going. It was to far from home, it was too hard, I didn't know anyone, and I was not going to go. I had turned in my two weeks notice and all of the regulars and employees knew I was leaving. I made my favorite customer promise to come in on my last day and say goodbye to me. About ten minutes before I my shift was over he came in and didn't even buy anything just stood in my line.
     He looked at me and said, "I'm going to miss you but I'm proud of you. You're going to go on and get an education and do great things. Don't give up. It's a good thing what you're getting ready to go do. Don't be scared. Fear has no place where you're going. I'll miss you, but I know this is best. Go on and make us all proud. I know you're going to make me proud."
     After he left our floor manager looked and me and said, "wow, he's never talked to anyone before. We're going to miss you around here."
     Since leaving I still think about him and all the other regulars and employees and I miss them. I miss all of them. Most of all I miss the quiet old man that never spoke. The customer that I worked on and worked on just to get him to smile. I miss him because in the end it wasn't me helping him, it was him telling me exactly what I needed to hear. Giving me the courage to move on and go where God called me to go. So, the moral of this story is smile at someone, it might change your life.

~Carrots