20 Minutes With Thurman

    A couple weeks ago I had the honor of meeting a man named Thurman, he and his wife came into the store where I work and while his wife shopped Thurman sat on a bench in an entry way. They walked in and his wife asked if there was a place that he could sit and then she went on to explain that he has alzheimers and he wouldn't be able to go up and down the stairs, and that it would be easier on him if he could sit somewhere and wait. We agreed and before she went downstairs she told us her name and his and to come get her if he got too anxious.
     He was fine for a while and then he started getting anxious and got up and went to look for his wife and my co-worker talked to him and got him to calm down and sit and he was fine. A few minutes same thing. After the third time he was getting very anxious so my co-worker went to tell his wife and I just decided to go sit with him. I've never been around someone going through that so I honestly didn't know if my presence would help or if it would make him more nervous. I grabbed a couple Missouri Conservationist off of our magazine rack and sat down next to him. He was really excited that I knew his name, and he introduced himself to me and I to him and then we looked through one of the magazines together. He told me about how much he loves fishing and how he's always wanted to go quail hunting.
     A few minutes into our conversation he literally blinked once, looked at me and went, "Hi, I'm Thurman...do I know you? Have we met?" I told him we had just met and we were new friends and told him my name, he relaxed and started looking at the magazine and he told me the same stories. This time he told me he was born in 1925, and he wasn't sure how old that made him but he was pretty sure he was 35. A few minutes went passed and soon we had to do introductions again. At this point I started to tear up because I couldn't even begin to imagine what this was like for him or his family. How awful this must be for everyone who loved him. It broke my heart to have to imagine having to go through this. Gently, Thurman reached over and took my hand.
      "Don't cry, I don't like seeing people cry, there's no sense in it. There's so much badness in the world but you can't let it steal your joy. I would never do anything to make anyone feel bad. I believe in working hard, believing in each other, love, and kindness. We must always be kind to those around us, always care for everyone. We can't hurt each other, we need each other too much."
      About that moment his wife walked by and waved at us on her way to the register. Thurman lit up, "Do you see her? She's mine...isn't she beautiful?" I nodded and told her of course she is. His eyes softened and he held my hand tighter, "she's the kindest woman I've ever known. I just couldn't stand being with a woman who was unkind or cantankerous, nope couldn't handle that. But her, she's so kind and gentle. She'd do anything for anybody, give you the clothes off her back, she's just like that. She's an incredible woman that one is."
     After that we just sat silent, hand in hand, waiting for his wife to come through the check out. She did and when she came out she thanked me for sitting with her husband, but really I was the one who should have been thanking her. As he got up to go he turned around to shake my hand, "It was nice meeting you young lady, maybe I'll see you again real soon." If I ever do see Thurman again he won't remember me, he won't know he ever sat with me on a bench inside of a store. I however, will never forget Thurman. Even in the midst of all he was going through he didn't forget the important things. He didn't forget who he was, and he didn't forget to pass on his wisdom. Thurman is right we have to believe in hard work, each other, love, and kindness because there is so much darkness in the world. We have to remember that we need each other and not to let the world steal our joy.

~ Carrots 

God Told Me To Go, Jesse Told Me To Write About It

     I'm writing this honestly because Jesse told me I should. We were sitting outside Starbuck, Carmel Brule latte in hand, gazing at the Christmas lights our town had already put up when I started telling her this story. Before I was done something along the lines of, "Why haven't you blogged about this, you need to blog about this now." Came out of her mouth. That was Monday....it's Thursday and I'm finally getting around to starting this post. At first I wanted to be selfish and keep it for me, I wanted my little story and experience to belong to me. God gave it to me. Then I started thinking about how ridiculous I was being, what if someone else needed to hear this? That's why God reveals things to us isn't it? So we can pour it into other people? Well, here's my little story and my little experience that made a big impact for me personally.
    
     Little bit of back story....I work a part time job at a local non-profit. As you can imagine this pays basically nothing and I literally have no idea how I manage to pay rent and buy groceries every month. I had been praying and felt God telling me to stay at my job a little while longer, this is frustrating. I also developed the overwhelming desire and need to start college in January, I prayed about it and felt like I should start applying but I can't afford even one class without financial aid so it felt like a big joke and fruitless endeavor. This is extremely frustrating. My life has basically been stress and penny pinching and become depressed and anxious about my future and worrying about every little thing. A couple weeks ago my sister came to stay with me for the weekend, after church on Sunday I met my parents half way and dropped her off.

     As I was starting the drive back to Missouri I realized that I would have 2 1/2 hours in the car alone so I started to pray, and sing, I turned on worship music, and I spent that time with God. When I got about 45 minutes away from home I had this overwhelming urge of, I need to go to church tonight. The thing is my church doesn't normally have Sunday night services and even if we did I wouldn't have made it back in time. Then God dropped a church I had driven past on my way out in my head. It was about 20 minutes up the road and I knew that I could make it as long as I didn't stop, I didn't even know the denomination of the church, I just knew that, that was where I needed to be that night. I pull into the parking lot at 5:59, the sign says church starts at 6:00....there are only 2 cars in the parking lot. Anyway so I go inside and the Pastor is there with a couple people from the church and low and behold on the last Sunday of the month they don't have an evening service they have an afternoon fellowship and afternoon service instead. Basically, I showed up for church and there was no church. So, I end up going into his office to speak with him. Throughout our conversation I mentioned that my dad is a Pastor.
      "Oh, where is you dad a Pastor?"
      "Kansas," I told him.
      Turns out he was from Kansas too. He had been born there, raised there, graduated high school, met his wife, and got married there. Naturally I asked him where in Kansas he was from expecting Topeka or Salina but no...he looked at me and said, "Arkansas City." I stopped....because that's where I'm from and once you leave Ark City you never run into anyone from Ark City ever again until you go back for a visit. It's just one of those towns that no one leaves...so I knew right then and there that was a total God thing, and God had my absolute undivided attention. When I told him I was from Ark City I saw the look on his face, he knew, he knew I was here for a very specific reason.

      The details of our conversation aren't too important and honestly I won't lie, this is getting to be a long post and I've probably lost most of you at this point and I'm too lazy to write the whole thing anyway. Basically, after that all I told him was that I was currently working and trying to go to school. I didn't tell him anything about my financial situation or how hard it is for me to go to school or anything.

     Out of the blue, and what seemed rather off topic, he told me that the story of how he met his wife is incredible. Of course I thought he would then tell me the story of how he met his wife. Instead he said, "Let me tell you what I learned from our story. I learned to trust God. To completely let go of my life and let him take control. I learned that when I let go he works it out. He brings us amazing and better things, he brings us to new places. We have to stop trying to figure out and make it work because that's not our job, it's his. God figures out. The desires of our hearts, the things we want, our plans, and the things that God has called and asked us to do that seem impossible...we can't stress over them. We can't crunch the numbers and lay awake at night and worry about it. We can't make the move on our own and try to make it fit together and work. If God called us to do it, if he placed the desire in our heart then he'll make it work. He'll come in and bring all together but not until we set it down and let him completely have it."

     Talk about hearing exactly what I needed to hear. I didn't say much I just nodded and smiled and soaked it all in. Then before I left he asked if he could pray for me and I said yes. We started praying and it was a pretty typical, thank you for bringing her here, type of prayer. Then in the middle of praying he pauses and starts again with, "Lord, just take this time to remind Kaitlin that you are her security. Financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally...you are her security. You're her provider and her protector and she doesn't need to worry because you care for her."

     Again....right what I needed to hear. Even as I type it, I need to hear it again. Man...I really don't know how to wrap up this blog only to say maybe you needed this too. Trust God, and yeah. I leave you with a promise to work on my conclusions.

~Carrots