My Best Friend and I Went To Chicago: A Free Form Poem

My best friend and I went to Chicago

It was going to be the trip of the year

It was the trip of the year

We got in the car and drove for 9 hours

We got stopped in traffic

We ate at gas stations

We sang songs from frozen

My best friend and I drove to Chicago

My best friend and I arrived in Chicago

We were exhausted and hungry from the trip

Poor us we hadn't eaten 

In a couple hours

So we used our nice gift cards and ate at a restaurant

Then we laid our weary heads on fancy hotel pillows

But not before watching Supernatural on Netflix

My best friend and I arrived in Chicago 

My best friend and I woke up and ventured into Chicago

We went and visited a college we didn't want to go to

We talked to kids we had just met

We questioned why the school wasn't sending missionaries into the ghetto

Then we sat in on an apologetics class and ate free cafeteria food

We avoided the ghetto at all costs

Maybe not really asking those questions with sincere hearts

My best friend and I woke up and ventured into Chicago

My best friend and I walked through Chicago

We parked our car in a safe place and bought a ventra public transit card

I encountered my first homeless man

Face to face but I didn't have any cash

So I kept walking

I didn't even bother to pray

We went in and out of stores

Sang songs as we skipped down the streets

Went into a creepy art museum and complained about wasting eight dollars

All the while walking past another man who didn't have eight dollars to waste

We saw art and architecture

Faced my fear of heights by visiting the John Hancock tower

Briefly complained that we didn't have enough money 

To buy ridiculous outfits for kids we don't have

Passing by another man that didn't have enough money for lunch

My best friend and I walked through Chicago

My best friend and I went back to out hotel

We had, had an amazing day in the city

Just two best friends roaming around

Making amazing memories

Exploring new places

But we were tired and we needed sleep

Needed to rest up for our next big day in the city

I got a little car sick

Ate some crackers

Went to sleep

Felt Better

My best friend and I went back to our hotel

My best friend and I went back into Chicago

We went to Millennial Park and saw the bean

We went and watched a Polish Day parade

My best friend made a new friend

He was a drunk Polish kid

A strange man decided to talk to us

He made us nervous

So we got lost in the crowd of people

We saw protesters at the parade

I don't know what they were protesting

Maybe they just hated the polish

Then we got on a train and went to the Navy Pier

We passed another man

He wanted to let us know that Jesus was coming back

I already know this

I wonder if he knows that he's chasing people away

Not drawing them to God

Then I walked past another homeless man

I didn't help him

Did I chase him away?

My best friend and I went back into Chicago

My best friend and I made it to the Navy Pier

We rode a carousel because she loves me

I rode the Ferris wheel because I love her

We walked to the water

Took beautiful city skyline pictures

I never encountered anyone in need at the Pier

I left with a clear conscious 

I didn't question myself

Or feel guilt because I couldn't help anyone

I enjoyed the day

My best friend and I made it to the Navy Pier

My best friend and stayed a little too late in Chicago

We ended up on the wrong side of town

Taking the subway with a drug dealer, inappropriate college kids, and people who could care less

I passed several homeless men and I could do nothing

As we came out of the subway I learned what fear can feel like

A group of men yelled at us

Tried to block us

And almost followed us

They got distracted and we were free

I hope the girl that distracted them is okay

I asked a cop making a dirty deal how to find the bus stop

I think he contemplated shooting me before he gave me directions

We finally found the bus stop and stood with the only other white girl

I wondered if I was racist

I didn't think racism was still a thing in my world

But she felt safe

I could feel guilty about that later

I saw a girl working

She was walking the streets and something rose up inside of me

My heart broke

I went to talk to her

To give her a number she could call so she could get help

I saw her pimp across the street

I knew if I tried to help her or talk to her he would punish her

I would only make things worse

So I let her go

We finally got on the bus and I didn't let anyone see me stifle me tears for her

We made it back the car safe and sound

My best friend and I stayed a little too late in Chicago

My best friend I made it home

I slept for seven hours of the nine hour drive

We left the city behind us 

Made a lot of memories

Did I a lot of cool things

Have a lot of fun stories to tell

Pictures to share

We plan on making it an annual trip

We only talk about the good things

We try to forget the faces of those we couldn't help

Next year the trip will have a purpose

It will be our get away

Our bonding time trip to leave home and responsibility behind

But, we'll pack some spare change

So that maybe we can buy that man a ride to the shelter

Chicago was an adventure

It changed me

Now I'm back to the daily grind

We'll have to go back though

To get the piece of me I left behind

Oh

My best friend and I made it home

~ Carrots

The Day I Joined A Corrupt Government and Persecuted Christians

     Now I know what you're thinking...actually okay I don't. I can guess that it's somewhere along the lines of, "What the heck is she talking about? What kind of psycho is writing this blog?" Just do me a favor and hear me out...listen to what I have to say. Don't stop reading and walk away or you'll have a very misconstrued view of who I am and what I stand for. Also, please don't report me to anybody and get me arrested, it wasn't real. I didn't actually for real persecute Christians. It was a simulated role playing event. Please, just give me a chance. Have you every done role playing? Cosplay? Hey, there Whovians...I know you have. So, it was kind of like that but we were pretending to be real people in real situations. So, while it wasn't "real" for us, it's real for several people out there in the world.
     Last year I participated in World Awareness as part of the persecuted church an it was intense. I went to "prison" and the "refugee camp" and whatnot. We had breaks during the days where we would watch movies such as Defiance and A War To End All Wars and listen to speakers from various organizations such as Voice of The Martyrs. I learned so much last year participating. I learned about sacrifice and taking a stand for what I believe. God used that year to speak to me about how he calls us to handle persecution, I learned a lot. But this post isn't about last year. It's about this year.
     This year I was part of the corrupt government. Our story is that we were a new government that believed in equality for all religions and that there wasn't only one way to Heaven. So, if you were part of a radical religion that taught your way was the only true way (Christianity, Islam, etc.) then we were there to help you and reeducate you. Very passive aggressive. We also had back stories that we were given so when we were around undergrad interns (aka the persecuted church) we would have a character to speak with them to and a story to tell them. My back story was that I had two older brother, Mark and Bentley (yep, they got names!). My older brother Bentley joined the army and went over seas to fight for the "Peace and Safety" (our "government" motto) of our Country. While he was over seas he was killed and when they sent my brother's body back home to have his funeral "Christians" came and told me that my brother had deserved to die, that God wanted my brother dead, that God was happy that my brother had been killed. As a result of this protesting and hatred towards my family my other older brother, Mark, killed himself. As a result of this I blamed Christians for his death. (Let me take a break and a moment to clarify that this was my roleplaying persona and I am a Christian and I firmly believe that the people that do these things *coughwestborosough* are not an actual representation of Christ and his love nor of the rest of Christianity...and I have no brothers that were killed. Although I did pull from real life experiences I've had with Westboro due to living in Kansas and the death of someone I went to High School with. ) So, that was my back story and my "character" was bitter.
     The purpose of this LTE (Life Transforming Event) is to make interns more aware of the persecuted church and to get them to really think about their faith and how they would handle persecution. So, as part of the government is to make the experience real. We chase after the refugee camp and we arrest people and take them to the "reeducation" facility. There we just challenge them and ask them questions about their faith. Here interns have a chance to show us the love of Christ or rebel. It's interesting...a lot of things happened that weekend and I did a lot of things but I really just want to talk about one of those things.
     On the last night we had some refugees do a raid in an attempt to rescue prisoners. They came in with air soft guns and started shooting agents and yelling at people to go. The kid leading the raid just went crazy. At the time of the raid I was on the guys side of the "prison" (AKA shower house) and I was talking to one of the guys about his faith and this kid was nailing it. I was contemplating either letting this kid go or converting. He was amazing in showing me the love of Christ and standing firm in his faith. I told this kid my back story and he apologized and told me about his faith and how Jesus really wants him to act, etc. Then one of his buddies comes in and starts shooting people so in my roleplaying mind everything he has said as just become void because his Christian buddies are not living up to what he's been claiming. Then one guy puts a gun to one of my guys' chest. I remember the "agent" looking at him and saying, "according to your belief system if you shoot me I go to Hell. Are you willing to send me to Hell?" The kid shoots him point blank. (air soft gun reminder!) and so my buddy "died". Then this kid comes over and twists my wrist until I drop my gun. He then tries to hand the gun to the guy that I had been talking to. This was the test. To my amazement the kid in the cell refused to take the gun and told him not to touch me anymore. Then he came out of his cell to protect me from all of the other raiders. He never took a gun and he never tried to run. He amazed me. Later I asked him why if they believe in this loving God why they would come in here and send to of my friends to Hell. His answer, "I don't know and I'm sorry. What they did was wrong. I don't agree with them and I wish I could have stopped them. Just know that, that wasn't God's will. God loves you...please don't hold this against God and the rest of us."
     This year I learned that people are right and wrong. But one kid in a cell humbled me and showed me the greatest act of role playing human kindness I've ever seen. But, he was sincere and I believe that had the guns been real and I been truly against him he would have acted the exact same. That kid challenged me to love everyone I come in contact with, even my enemies. That kid called me to a higher level of love.

Twenty Lessons I Learned In Twenty Years

I recently celebrated my 20th birthday (it was on March 23, 2014). It's funny because 20 doesn't feel all that different from 19 which didn't feel different from 18 which didn't feel different from 17 and so on. Yet 20 feels very different from 17 so somewhere in there things changed. I celebrated my birthday with different people than I had with just a year ago. It's amazing to think how quickly the people that you think will be there forever are gone. It's also ironic to realize this and then still think that the "new" people I celebrated with this year will be there for the rest of my life. Want to know a secret? One of them, maybe two if I'm lucky, will be a part of the rest of my life. Last year I celebrated my birthday with a fairly large group of people...a year later and I'm still friends with two of them. But, enough about that...so roughly 20 years ago I came into this big big world.

(I'm the infant, not the chubby ginger FYI.)

I came out screaming and peeing all covered in goop, as my dad describes it anyway. I went from being this little bald thing to a 20 year old with ridiculously curly hair (that was so unkept that when I got all of the dead ends cut off a couple weeks ago it has resulted in a humiliatingly short "triangle boy-bob" (all my fellow curly haired friends know what I'm talking about) and I have vowed to regularly trim my hair as to avoid this catastrophe again." About a year after my birth I was provided with my "built in best friend" in the form of my cousin Caleb, with whom I celebrated the big 2-0! So while we're not as close as we once were, we're still going strong. 

(He's taller than me now, has black hair, and is kind of a human mass of solid muscle. I discovered difrizzer!)

When I was six my baby sister was born. I've lived in 5 towns, 2 states, 8 houses, and attended 3 different schools. I haven't learned everything there is to learn, but I have learned some. I'm not going to share everything I've learned with you, but I'll share some. I want to share 20 things that I've learned within my 20 years of life. Most of them I learned from other people. such as my parents or teachers.

1) Kevin Bacon is not in all of the historical movies, just the good ones.

2) Christ loved me so much he died for me and without him I am nothing.

3) If you try hard enough you can get all of the bubbles out of GermX

4) There is a world full of broken and hurting people and God has anointed and chosen me to help them and to love them.

5) Sisters make the best friends and they will always be there. Cherish them, spend time with them, protect the, and invest into them.

6) Car surfing is NEVER a good idea and will ALWAYS end in an emergency room visit and a pair of crutches.

7) Talking to strangers can actually be dangerous (that's a "fun" story.) STRANGER DANGER!

8) You are capable of so much more than you think you are.

9) God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. Answer his call and he will equip you.

10) Parents really do know what they're talking about.

11) The book is always better than the movie.

12) You will find very few friends that you stay close to after you guys move away from each other. When you find these friends hang on to them. They're amazing!

13) Never having dated or kissed anyone doesn't make you a reject or less desirable. It just makes you someone's one and only instead of one of many. 

14) You'll thank your mom for making you learn how to cook and do laundry.

15) God will always provide.

16) Not everyone will like you and as long as you're not a jerk that is perfectly okay and even normal.

17) When burning trash ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS make sure the fire is completely out before you leave or you may come back to find your neighbors field in flames.

18) "Tomorrow is always fresh with not mistakes in it, yet." - Anne of Green Gables

19) You literally will not talk to hardly anyone from High School after High School so stop investing so much into what they think about you.

20) Life is not hard, it's difficult. But, it's also fun and worth it. Enjoy live and live ever day to the fullest.

So, there are just some of the things I've learned in my two decades on this planet. I hope that if you haven't learned some of these yourself you will. 

~ Carrots

P.S. Today (March 24) Is Crowhead's birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE! I LOVE YOU!

Where do I go from here?

We all talk a lot about our purpose in life and what we are suppose to do. But, how many of us actually do what we think our purpose is? The sad truth not a lot. So many of us start out with good intentions but we get stuck along the way. Yes we want to fulfill our purposes in life but going where God wants you to go and fulfilling what he wants you to filfull is super hard and it is so much easier to do some of it find a comfortable spot and them just stay there. 

Recently I have been stuck in the complacency of being in a comfortable spot. Not doing anything out of the will of God but not working toward the goals and purposes God has for me. It was a hard awakening realizing that I was no longer moving forward. It wasn't even something someone else could have told me. It was all internal complacency with where I am at now. It wasn't until I came face to face with my passion in the fo of an African children's choir this last weekend that I realized anything had changed. 

As some of you may know my passion is for the children who are alone. The ones who need love because there is no one else there to love them.  Don't let me get started on talking about them because I will cry. Long term my goal is to open a coffee shop that I will use the proceeds to support organizations internationally who are helping those children. 

Sitting there listening to those children whom had most one or both of their parents and literally had nothing. Rebroke for heart for them. They had so much joy and enthusiasm for life and Jesus that I wish so much that I had. They had gone hungry and had gone through such terrible things yet they can talk about how they know the God of the universe loves them. It is so beautiful that it brings me to tears just to think about it. 

So now that I aware of my problem of complacency I can fix it. I must learn what it takes to keep my heart broken for these children as I work my way down my path to someday having a coffee shop to help out. In prayerful consideration of what I should be doing a few things came to mind of how I can keep my heart open for my passion (They may differ depending on what your passion is). 1) Pray. Pray for whatever area you want to be in. Pray for areas that you aren't involved in but are connecting with your passion. Pray for the people you will be connected with (especially the people you don't know yet). 2) Give. Yes I am broke but even I can sponsor a child for $40 a month (if you want to sponsor a child but don't know how shoot me an email I have list of some favorites). Yes it sounds lame but you never know how much sponsoring a child can do for that child. It will also help keep you aware of the need around the world. It is also super cool to receive letters from your child. 3) Discuss. How are you going to be able to make connections or get to know people when you don't know what their passions are and they don't know yours? What if one of your friends had a God inspired idea for you but you never found out because you never talked about anything deep like the future? Also if you start discussing what you want to do now it is so much easier to discuss it when you are actually out there doing what you love. 5) Donate. Yes I said give already but that is more directly related my passion. By donate I mean give to groups that are doing what you want to do. It gets you familiarized with other organizations in the area to are going into as well as be getting connected with these groups you will most likely get news letters and info about what is going on in those organizations. 6) Read. My last point read, read the Bible (helpful for everything), read books and biographys about people who have done and topics related to what you want to go into. Such  as if you want to go into missions in Asia you are probably going to want to read any memoirs from missionaries who have been. Or books on learning the language. 

Remember the passion God has put inside of you. He put it there for a reason use it to your advantage. God loves you and wants to see you succeed. 

Religion that is pure and undefined before God the father is this: take care of the widows and orphans in their affection, and keep ones self unstained from the world. -James 1:27

KAITLIN: And The Year She Fell Off A Car, Couldn't Get a Job, And Learned How To Be A Leader

     At Honor Academy of The Ozarks we have these fantastic things call Mid-Year Defenses. Basically half way through your year (there's a Grad Defense at the end of the year) you do some sort of presentation to answer a list of questions and explain how you've grown and why you should be allowed to finish your year. They want you to be creative. My Undergrad year I did a Video of interviews for my Mid-Year and Prezi for my Grad....this time for my Mid-Year I made a comic! I want to share it with you guys! I know some of the strips kind of need explaining...I apologize that that's not going to happen unless you directly ask me in comments or something. So, here is a comic about my GI year.

 

So there ya go. Hope you enjoyed it.

~ Carrots

Trapped

So this is where we find ourselves

stuck

trapped in cages of our own making

own creating

and we cry

and scream

that life is unfair

that we need help

we can't find the way out

all the while failing to realize

that we've done this to ourselves

This Post Has No Real Point, But It Sure Feels Poetic

     Today is beautiful...it is so beautiful outside. I keep finding excuses to go outside...because man it's beautiful. The breeze, the sun, the smells, the colors; all of it. So Perfect. I feel like I'm living in a dream. Like everything is right in the world. Like everything is okay. There's this complete Utopia feeling that comes with spring. Innocence...the air feels like innocence. Like I'm a girl again. Running through the grass, bare feet on the soft grass. I feel like I should be running with my cousins through the woods playing games of our own inventing. Pretending that my built in best friend, friends since birth, is still right there next to me. That we haven't grown up, haven't gone our separate ways, that he doesn't have someone in his life more important than me, that I don't have someone I'm closer to now than him. That he's still my number one and I'm still his. It's funny how growing up does that. It takes the closest of friends and drags you apart until you wake up one day and realize that, that's not the first person you go to anymore. That's not the person you whisper your secrets to anymore. That you aren't young a barefoot anymore playing in fields. We are adults...or something like that. We have responsibilities. We have rules. There's no more room for pretending and holding hands in the dark doesn't make the danger go away. Now there are real dangers...no the monsters are real. Childhood is gone...gone so quickly. This post has no point other than to say it's beautiful outside. The beauty reminds me of childhood. It makes me miss it. Makes me miss my best friend. We were best friends for 18 years and then...then we grew up. Life does that. So by the way...it's beautiful outside. Go and make the most of this day. Make the most of the time you have to pretend you're a kid again. Reminiscence about childhood. Don't let go.

  

~ Carrots